How to control and calm your anger?

How to control and calm your anger?

Various feelings can animate the human being. We can experience moments of joy, sadness, anger, and all other emotions. Feeling angry is not the end of the world. Anger is part of human nature in its experience.

Whether you express cold anger, black anger, blind anger, or repressed anger, we must know that this rage has effects on our body. What is anger? What are the effects of anger?

What can lead to anger? How to learn to manage your anger and frustration? These are many questions we will try to answer in this article.

Anger in psychology

What is anger in psychology? It is defined in psychology as a secondary emotion, related to a psychological or physical injury, frustration, or lack.

Anger is generally characterized by a strong reaction, which leads to physical or psychological manifestations from the person expressing it. This anger can be contained, or even hidden by the person.

Why am I always angry?

Whether it is cold anger, repressed anger, black anger, or blind anger, know that it is neither bad nor good. It is sometimes normal to express a state of anger when you feel betrayed or a victim of injustice.

This feeling of rage that arises within you is not a problem in itself. Rather, it is what you do following this cold, blind, or black anger that can make the difference. When you cannot manage your anger, when you express it while hurting others or yourself, it becomes a problem.

Thus, the only way to manage it is to understand what caused it. It is possible for you to break a cycle of reactive anger and control it if you understand its origin. When you are aware of what leads you to express a spirit of anger, it may allow you to avoid a trigger if it is healthy to do so, or to prepare a strategy to face it if the trigger is inevitable.

In general, feeling helpless, threatened, or if there has been a lack of respect towards you are the most frequent causes of the manifestation of anger. Additionally, failures in accomplishing certain tasks in life are also causes of anger. Let’s simply say that there are many reasons that can underlie anger in a person’s life.

Many people have hot tempers. They sometimes tell themselves that it is impossible to calm down, given the temperament that arises when they are in a state of anger. We believe this idea is absolutely false. It is possible for anyone to channel their anger, to learn to express their emotions in a way that does not hurt others.

Managing your annoyance not only makes you feel better but also allows you to effectively express your needs. Being able to remain calm is a skill that requires some training, just like in sports. The more an individual practices overcoming their anger, the more they will be able to channel it.

For learning to control anger while expressing it appropriately builds better relationships, achieves your goals, and also allows you to live more in accordance with your values.

Why learn to control anger?

Anger is a way for you to make yourself respected in your environment. Expressing your anger is a good thing, as the people around you are sensitive and can quickly bend to you following your reaction. You can therefore be right according to the goals you have set for yourself.

But the question is whether this anger helps you move forward in your life. Just take a moment to reflect, and you will see the harmful effects of this anger on your life. The symptoms of anger are generally negative. It impacts several areas of our lives:

1. Negative impact of anger on your physical health

Manifesting a state of anger while being upset puts you in a situation of stress and tension, which are harmful to health. Chronic, even constant, these stresses and tensions can increase the risk of developing cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, insomnia, high blood pressure, high cholesterol levels, and a weakened immune system, etc.

2. Negative impact of anger on your career

In a professional environment, you will face constructive criticism, differences of opinion, and more. It is up to you to receive them in a friendly manner without taking it out on your various colleagues, superiors, clients, etc.

A bad reaction from you, stemming from anger, can be fatal for the continuation of your professional career. Rather, be courteous while reacting with flexibility and love to express your dissatisfaction.

3. Negative impact of anger on mental health

While acting on the physical, anger also has negative effects on the mental. When chronic, it consumes considerable psychological resources, leading to a decrease in your concentration and reflection abilities. It also affects your ability to realize yourself. Likewise, anger leads to moments of stress, depression, and other mental illnesses.

4. Negative impact of anger on your relationships

With this anger, you lose the trust of all the people around you. The relational contract signed between two people can be interrupted following a reaction of anger from one or the other. In a household, one must know that what are called explosive angers are especially harmful to children.

When sadness turns into anger

Manifesting sadness means being in a state that experiences sorrow, melancholy, and affliction. As for anger, it is an emotional, violent, and fleeting state, resulting from an aggression or discomfort. It is expressed through intense dissatisfaction and is accompanied by brutal reactions.

We must know that the aggression that causes anger can be provoked by an unknown person as well as by someone we love, towards whom we have a certain affection. It is therefore easy to express anger towards an unknown person.

However, this is not the case when faced with a person for whom we have strong feelings. An aggression received from this person will especially hurt us greatly, creating a sensation of heartache, thus sadness, which we will subsequently translate into anger.

In this case, when anger takes over, it is possible to manifest a certain reaction that leads to prolonged controversies, disputes, and shouting. These can lead to conflicts and battles.

The bodily symptoms of anger

When a person is in a state of anger, it can be visible through reactions in their body:

• Tension in the shoulders
• Feeling of the heart beating in the chest
• Seeing red
• Difficulties in concentration
• Headaches
• Sensation of moisture, heat
• Clenched fists and jaws
• Need to walk, to calm down
• Etc.

How to express repressed anger?

As we know, anger is an attitude that anyone can manifest at any moment in their life. Some people express their anger in their corner. This is not the case for others who externalize it. We also have people who represent this anger when it presents itself to them.

Unexpressed anger tends to accumulate in the body. This can eventually cause real disasters on both a physical and emotional level. That is why managing repressed anger is important for well-being. Everyone should be able to release their inner anger.

Humiliation, dissatisfaction, indignation, frustration, and other reactions we receive from those around us often carry a message that irritates us. However, an individual who receives all these anger-triggering elements must be able to externalize their anger. How to manage repressed anger? You can express repressed anger in several ways. Here are some tips that can help you do so:

1. Take a sheet: on this sheet, write everything that puts you in such a state of anger. Write down frustrations, indignations, humiliations received in your own words and expressions. Write them down the way you feel them inside. Reread everything you have written. Then burn this sheet.
2. Close your eyes: do this while imagining the person who is the cause of your anger in front of you. Allow yourself to verbalize this person out loud. Let out of your heart and mind everything you would like to say to this person. Let out all the words you may feel inside without any shame.
   The brain does not differentiate between imagination, what is real, and the symbolic, and will take into account everything you have said. This is how you will release all that is at the origin of this anger. During this exercise, if you feel the desire to cry, do not hesitate to do so.
3. Talk to a professional: this professional, who can be a psychologist, is someone who will help you through psychoanalysis sessions. He will be able to identify the situations that provoke this state of rage. He will help you release this repressed anger through a work of liberation with listening, kindness, and without judgment.

How to calm down quickly?

You find yourself in a critical situation that has generated some anger within you. All worked up, your tension rises, and it is impossible for you to control yourself. How can you manage to calm down quickly?

This is the question that crosses your mind. Processing your strong and intense emotions, controlling yourself, returning to calm, knowing how to calm down quickly remains possible by implementing certain techniques.

1. Using immediate techniques to calm down

These are numerous. We could list:

1. Stop immediately what you are doing.
2. Refocus on your feelings.
3. Breathe.
4. Release your muscles.
5. Find something to distract yourself.
6. Adopt self-relaxation behaviors.
7. Give and receive hugs as often as possible.

2. To process this state of anger, it is also possible to go further for a long-term effect, with these different techniques:

1. Control your eating habits.
2. Exercise.
3. Practice meditation.
4. Try to understand why you feel upset.
5. Avoid uncomfortable situations as much as possible.
6. Express your feelings.
7. Spend time with people who calm you down.
8. Consult a professional.
9. Distance yourself from topics that are likely to upset you.
10. Make sure to focus mainly on what concerns you.
11. Eliminate negative thoughts.

How to learn to manage your anger and frustration

It is possible for anyone to learn to manage their anger and a situation of frustration. Because when anger becomes a problem, it can not only affect your interpersonal relationships but also your mental and physical well-being.

There are many exercises that are effective and recommended by professionals to channel your state of anger. Implementing these can help you return to calm.

1. Know your triggers

If you are aware of what ignites your rage or fury, do not hesitate to classify it far from you. Avoid letting your emotions become unruly.

2. Learn to breathe

Deep breathing is very effective in processing your moments of anger or frustration. By practicing this exercise, you lower your pulse and release stress hormones. When this happens, you can start to think rationally about the situation.

3. Talk positively to yourself

Your internal dialogue can have a positive impact on how you feel. Therefore, speak to yourself using positive phrases, such as “I won’t take this personally” or “I know I can handle this.” Say these words while recalling the situation in your mind.

4. Use a diary

It is also possible to use a diary. Write down your feelings in this diary. This could help you express your state of anger. Afterwards, go back to the person who put you in this state of anger or revisit the situation that enraged you and resolve it from a logical perspective.

5. Resolve the problem

Avoid leaving the problem unresolved. Otherwise, the anger or frustrations can accumulate. “You can agree to disagree, but at least do that,” she says.