Why and how to practice self-compassion?

Why and how to practice self-compassion?

We live in a society where we can encounter several situations. These can be happy or unhappy events. Life for every person is not just rosy. We face moments of disappointment, suffering, and loss.

One might say that life is a road with potholes, moments of joy, and sadness. What is your reaction when you find yourself facing moments of failure, pain, or sorrow? Not everyone has the courage to get back up when an unexpected disappointment occurs.

However, it is possible for every human being to treat themselves with kindness and compassion in the face of difficulties, loss, etc. We must be able to accept reality by giving ourselves emotional support. Hence, self-compassion. Why and how to practice self-compassion?

What is self-compassion?

Self-compassion is being kind and compassionate to yourself when you feel inadequate, failing, or suffering. Being a social species, we feel comfortable when others show their love and encouragement towards us.

We respond in the same way to the love we can show ourselves, by having a compassionate inner voice. In the face of life’s difficulties, other people may not be by your side to show their compassion.

However, there is one person who is always there and can never abandon you. That person is you. Because you are always with yourself, day and night.

You must be able to accept and acknowledge your feelings and thoughts without judgment, rather than suppressing them. With self-compassion, it is impossible for you to ignore your feelings or try to shove them down.

Why practice self-compassion?

If you do not love yourself, it will be impossible for you to love others as well. The same goes for compassion. It will also be impossible for an individual to show compassion for others if they do not exhibit any compassion for themselves. Self-compassion offers numerous benefits for those who practice it.

• This person is likely to take responsibility for their actions and not blame others. This shows that self-compassion is not just about letting oneself go.
• This person is more likely to study harder after a disappointing result.
• A person with self-compassion is connected to the rest of humanity, compared to someone who isolates themselves from others because they emphasize being superior or better than others.
• By manifesting self-compassion, which is their inner ally, this person is able to recover more quickly from difficulties compared to someone who focuses on their inner enemy.

How to practice self-compassion?

You should always seek to improve the way you treat yourself, rather than trying to boost your self-esteem. By doing this, it will bring you much more long-term benefits.

Every time you experience suffering (health problems, depression, anxiety, etc.) or loss (work or school issues, a breakup in a relationship, etc.), practice self-compassion. How to do it?

Here are some tips for you to achieve this:

• Identify and express what you are feeling.
• Accept and validate what you are feeling.
• Remember that you are not alone; rather, precisely because of this, you are connected to what others are experiencing.
• Remember that just because you are hurting does not mean you are bad.
• Give yourself hope.
• Tell yourself the same things you would say to comfort someone you care about.
• Be grateful for what you have. This helps you reflect on the positive aspects and counter the natural human tendency to be negative.
• Move on and do useful things.
• Think of someone who loves you and accepts you unconditionally as you are. Imagine what they might say to you about what you don’t like about yourself.
• Remember that everyone has flaws and problems. Some people are prone to issues similar to others.
• Write a letter of compassion to yourself; this will help you learn to treat yourself as you would treat a family member or close friend and encourage the development of a healthy sense of personal compassion. Do this at least once a month.
• After finishing the letter, take care to store it away for a while. Come back to it later and read it again for a bit of self-compassion. This can help you, especially when you have low morale.
• Ask yourself what you could do to improve or cope with the situation you are experiencing, but focus more on constructive changes.
• You can also practice a mantra, which is an exercise to help you improve your understanding and love for yourself. It involves creating phrases that you can repeat to yourself throughout the day as needed to help you focus on your goals, be aware of what is happening in your mind, and feel much calmer and balanced.
• Change the way you talk about yourself by being less critical. Take note of the words, tone, and phrases you use when you criticize yourself. Because it is easy to criticize oneself, but more difficult to notice all these things. This may not be easy to do. But the more you do it, the more you will gain self-awareness.
• Every time you notice that you are saying harsh things to yourself, transform what you say by remembering the three components of self-compassion:
  • Do not adopt the same critical tone and do not judge.
  • Be understanding.
  • Make an active effort to soften your critical voice, and do it with compassion rather than personal judgment.